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 There is something so contagious, almost mystical, about hearing another woman count the ways she loves herself. “Oh, I love my little looping mind that can get caught up in a narrative,” Brown says. “I really love my curiosity. I feel like it saves me when something comes along that I wasn’t expecting. I love being smart.” Darling cites her “creativity, enthusiasm, optimism, New Zealand accent, and lust for life.” Unabashed self-love makes Lizzo and Indya Moore magnetic, and I can’t help but look back lovingly at SNL classic Stuart Smalley (originated by Al Franken) and his mantra-in-the-mirror: “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me.” “Feeling oneself” is an instructive concept: I have a friend who posts full-length mirror Stories on Instagram captioned with how cute she looks in her culottes or matching sets; another with whom I swap new haircut pics and texts saying, “I look amazing!” I love how they love themselves, but I wish the sentiment wasn’t so rare.

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There are memes that preach it: “Loving Yourself is the Greatest Revolution.” But it took deliberate action and effort for Brown, including talk therapy, and somatic (body-based) therapy. “One of the practices I did to begin falling back in love with my body was a self-scholarship in the mirror, where I would look at one part of my body at a time and just offer love to that part of my body,” Brown said. She started with her left pinkie and gradually moved to her thighs and belly. It didn’t happen overnight. “Self-love is a practice,” she wrote in 2017. “Practices take time. More than 21 days, more than 3000 reps, even more.” Now, she says, “I’m in that place where, when I walk by the mirror naked, I’m like, ‘Yes, I like this.'”

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